I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
