so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
