Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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