Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm always down for nudity.
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