cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
