Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
