so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
