i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
