grandma shit on top of the toilet
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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