After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
