Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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