He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
