am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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