I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
