I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
