It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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