Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
