but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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