i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
