Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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