First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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