You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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