Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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