New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
