good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
