I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
