I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
