God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
