Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
