gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i drank out of a bidet.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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