capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
