got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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