Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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