Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
