There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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