I cannot find my penis.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
