The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
