You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
