Sponge bath it is.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize