I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
