we have pet lesbian snakes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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