their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
