he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
