I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
