youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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