i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
