lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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