Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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