Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i permit you to call me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
