In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Buhtt sex?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
