The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
