i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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